Sunday, January 18, 2009

[boring - new term in my life]


my life never get any boring`er than now. suddenly i feel that i'm just a nobody who do not achieve anything in life. or maybe not yet. luck is not really on my side on this very new year. and i feel totally down. or maybe it's just my feeling of negativity. i have no idea. i kind of have all this -ve ions inside my body and mind. i keep on thinking that it's not going to be a good year for me this year.

work was ok. normal. and the same routine that i have to face every day in and day out. wake up at 6am EVERY morning and come back by 7 OR 730pm EVERY day. i'm tired of all the 200km journey every day and i'm tired of answering back the same question people ask me almost every day when i met them at the office car park when i'm heating up my engine end of the day - "tak penat ke travel jauh jauh?" "jauhnye u travel, y x pindah dekat dekat ngan ofis?" "hubby u x kesian kat u ke?" "jauh la u travel" sometime i feel like screaming at them and say "ADA KE ORG YG TAK PENAT?"
but, i know, i cant. so, the story just end there. full stop. then the same question again for the 365 days.

married life ok. so far so good. except for the questions -- "bila u nak pregnant ni?" "takde isi ke?" "no sign of muntah2 ke?" that i have to just nod off when i was asked. at weddings, kenduri, lunch, dinner, arrghh!! let me ask u. who doesnt want to be a mother? who doesnt want to get pregnant? i want. but this is not the thing that you'll-get-what-you-want thing. this is just different.

then there's another thing that always bothers me. people always, always tell me to my face that i look like i just swallow a pot of rice. ""eiiiiiii, dah gemuk la u"
"waaaaaaaaa, sejak kawin makin sihat" is it a crime to get chubby? is it?

arghh.. it's just the terrible time of my life i guess. time will heal the sores i had in my heart. i just need some excitement in life.

4 comments:

elixelle said...

awww... ciannya u hun.. it's js one of those days wer u feel down.. i get that too every once in awhile... feeling underappreciated or like i haven't done enough... OMG!! i know... the pressure 2 get married (either fr family or looking at peers tying d knot) and then wen u pass dt stage, der's d pregnancy Qs.. then wen that's done, there's d wen's d nx 1 coming?!?! LOL!!! dun get me started on d chubby thing.. i couldn't stand it up to a point i didn't even want to go out cos I didn't want to bump into any1 i kno or who knows me.. espesh if i hvn't met d prsn since i was 20kg lighter... LOL!!! c'est la vie mon ami..

dying4wedges said...

ya ya.. n know what? the same Q again today. "y u nak dok jauh sgt?" oh my. i've been working here more than a year now. and still ppl who knows me still ask about the same Q over n over again! argh! i'm going to be crazy!

Ismah Yusmadi said...

enang..if you r tired of all those questions, and in answering them, just do something about it..like wearing a uniform that that has this words.."dont asked questions on.." printed on it. Or get a placard..haha.. love u, isupply

dying4wedges said...

tht's a pretty gud solution. will get one asap! haha